Sparky
Sparky Tales
(Part I)
Sparky is seeing a psychiatrist. Yes, a doggie shrink. He has a lot of problems you
see. He's an amputee. He lost a leg in a drunk driving accident at an early age.
I told him not to drink and drive, but did he listen? No. Sparky's gay. He's black.
I'm not sure if he's Agnostic like his father, or Jewish like his mother. Either
way, he's in trouble. Woof, is a border collie, wolf mix. He cries when it thunders,
and hides under the pillows when it's lightning out. When I make the bed, he follows
me from one side to the other, back and forth, back and forth. He drives me crazy.
Sparky and Woof have lived together for 3 years. But Woof won't allow Sparky to introduce
him as his "lover" or even as his "partner." It depresses Sparky that he's out of
the closet while Woof hasn't come out yet. (And the closet is where you'll find Woof
every time the sky grows dark and the lightning begins.) Nonetheless, they're very
happy together. Last winter they adopted a son: Bill the Cat. When Sparky first brought
Bill into the house, Bill tried to nurse from Sparky. Sparky wasn't happy about it,
but he didn't try to stop Bill. He knew that's what mothers are supposed to do, and
he wanted to be the best mother he could be. And for the most part, he is a very
good mother. "Mama Sparky" we have taken to calling him. We had to move Bill's litter
box because Sparky thought it was a candy dish. Yes, Sparky definitely has some problems.
But like I said, he's seeing a shrink. Hopefully he'll work them out. And maybe some
day we'll be able to send Woof to rehab, so that he can get off his tranquilizer
habit. You see, we started giving him doggy downers when the bad weather set in to
make sure that the (minority) humans in the house could sleep. He really likes them.
It makes him SOooooo mellow. He can get up on the couch after he's taken them, but
when he wakes up from his nap, he hasn't a clue as to how to get back down. He tries
each paw in succession until he finds one that will bare his weight. He's a good
dog, though. Even when he's as high as a kite on downers, he controls his bladder
and waits to go outside. I wish his wife would. Sparky likes using the master bathroom
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Woof
Sparky
Bill